I have a big girl job.
I have a desk and an office.
I am known as Miss McGillick most days.
What in the world happened?
I presented my goals as the department head to our board members at their meeting last night, and I was downright professional and charming. Who is this person?
I like my job and what I get to do (even though its exhausting and an introvert's nightmare), but I really miss the days of being a youth leader.
I think of helping out at student ministry back in NJ and I think of running around like an idiot playing some game, making it look like I was having the best time ever so that other kids would want to join in (and secretly enjoying every second because games like handball and ultimate frisbee are amazing), then getting to have deep, intentional, spiritual discussion with a group of ladies I LOVED getting to know, while leading this discussion with one of my best friends, then getting to run around like an idiot again for some kind of indoor game at the end of the night, eating any of the remaining scraps from snack, getting to catch up with all my youth leader friends in the gym while all the students got picked up, then sitting around a kitchen table with said youth leaders while eating freshly popped popcorn and laughing about something that happened earlier that evening or reminiscing about some other youth event.
My life was all about mentoring teens, and I miss that dearly.
Now, I direct a program that mentors teens, and I still get to have some of those cool discussions, but I'm on the facilitating end of things now, not so much the actually-doing end of things (or however else you would say that).
I miss doing the actual mentoring, but God still gives me small doses of it, like getting to lead one of the small groups today at STARS because one of my leaders was sick. Too bad for her, but heck yes for me!
God is still working through me, and hallelujah about that! I really never fully know what I'm doing, and there's something exciting about knowing that I can't really do it, and watching it all still get done because God is amazing and able to have anything He wants accomplished to get done.
He has shown me how much I've grown these past 1.5 years, and it is really awesome how comfortable I am with public speaking now, how confident I can be in front of my peers (or at least pretend to be), how I can lead large,
I am also trying to be more responsible for my personal health, and I've started seeing a physical therapist. I can't even get started on the symbolism of learning to take small steps to fix a large problem...maybe I'll process that some other time. Its very frustrating knowing what the problem is, and knowing that it will take weeks and months of very small movements to fix that one large problem. Can we see the metaphor for life here? Please pray for my patience as I try to take these small steps. The competitive side of me feels like a idiot when I can't seem to do my exercises correctly. Maybe I need to join some kind of recreational sport in the spring to have an outlet for my competitiveness...all the more reasons to get this physical therapy underway!
Positive story for the day?? Well, I had STARS and didn't lose my temper on any of the multiple teens that were being...well...teens, so go me.
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